Coaching the Who: How to Integrate Coaching Identity into Your Conversation

Session Description: When clients face a dilemma that is frustrating or confusing, it’s likely they are seeing the situation and reacting based how they define themselves in the scenario. To overcome limiting beliefs and patterns of behavior requires clients see themselves in a new way. But their brains resist the discomfort of uncertainty required in letting go of who they think they are today to become who they can be. To coach “the who” as well as what clients perceive about their situations requires the coach 1) identify how the client sees themselves in a desired future scenario and 2) recognize the clues to how they are defining themselves today. The clues include revealing what social needs and personal values are driving their behaviors as well as the labels they use when talking about themselves in relation to others.

Comparing how clients see themselves rising above their dilemmas to how they are defining themselves today often creates breakthrough moments. They recognize how they are getting in their own way of success or fulfillment. Yet there is still a lot of coaching to do to facilitate the transformation. What do they need to address or resolve to step toward who they can become? What are their doubts? Are they afraid of judgement or rejection? What are they willing to do to try out the new identity they want to live into? Wishing for something is not enough to make desires a new reality.

This session looks at these key elements for effectively coaching a client’s self-perception. It includes a coach demonstration to discuss how these elements can be integrated into their coaching conversations.